Can't Fight This Feeling
by nikkihime
Summary: Kogure receives a letter from an anonymous sender. Can he found out who was behind it? Will it be the person he was hoping for? *SHOUNEN-AI*


Can't fight this Feeling

by: nikki hiiragizawa 

Genre: shounen -ai romance

Rating: PG

Pairing: Kogure + somebody from Slam Dunk, too

Disclaimer: Inoue-san owns Slam Dunk…unfortunately for me. This fic aims only to entertain the audience and not for other purposes. The song "Can't fight this Feeling" is by Reo Speedwagon. 

Author's Notes: I did not include the pairing for the suspenseful effect…^.^

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

It was a bright Thursday afternoon. The sun was already threatening to disappear behind the towering buildings as dusk slowly grew. The Shohoku team was already preparing to go home, all of them in a hustle - except one.

Team captain Akagi Takenori called out to his vice-captain. "Kogure, daijobu?" The players, hearing a hint of concern in the captain's voice, all looked towards their bespectacled vice-captain.

Kogure was staring on a piece of paper spread on his palm, his brown eyes wide, his slender brows poised delicately with surprise, and his mouth partly open as if in disbelief. His open locker waited, forgotten by the boy. He muttered something inaudible to himself and shrugged as he folded the paper. Turning around, he was abashed to see all the players staring at him. "Uh…Nani?"

"We should ask you that question, Megane-kun!" Sakuragi demandingly said. 

Kogure gave everyone a questioning look. "Everything alright?"

Mitsui chuckled as he bent down to tie his shoes. "Aa. Everything's all right, except you."

"Kogure, you look shocked a moment ago," Akagi told him. "What was it?"

"Shocked?" At last, the vice-captain's eyes were filled with comprehension. "Oh, nan demo nai. I just got surprised somebody inserted a letter in my locker, that's all."

"Megane-kun's got a love letter! I wanna see it!" 

"Do'ahou."

"Nani, Rukawa?!" 

The others looked expectantly as Kogure raised his arms in defense. "Maa…I, uh…I'll just fill you in tomorrow." He hurriedly took his things out of the locker and sped out of the room.

"I wonder what was in that letter that made Kogure so agitated?" Miyagi loudly wondered. Everyone shrugged their shoulders except for one, who watched them with knowing dark eyes.

+++

Kogure gratefully sighed as he lay on his bed and contemplated. Eyebrows meeting, he fumbled in his pocket and pulled out the piece of paper he was holding a while ago. He studied it carefully, memorizing the paper, the writings, and even the handwriting. The paper was surprisingly plain notebook paper, not even one of those stationery that girls buy. It wasn't even scented. It was folded into two and on the other side Kogure's name was written. The handwriting looked familiar, its characters neatly spaced and legibly written. From the outside, it looks like a typical note from anybody, but Kogure frowned as he remembered what the mystery was really lying…on the inner side of the paper. 

Automatically, Kogure turned the paper over and unfolded it. He cannot imagine who would have given him such a message. His breath was unconsciously held as he reread the words written. It was like a poem, but a very short, meaningful one.

__

I can't fight this feeling any longer, 

And yet I'm still afraid to let it flow.

But what started as friendship has grown stronger,

I only wish I had the strength to let it show. 

I tell myself that I cannot hold out forever

I say there is no reason for my fear,

Because I feel so secure when we're together

You gave my life direction, you make everything so clear.

Even if Kogure read the message a hundred times, he still cannot figure out who gave him this. Of course, anybody can have access to the locker room when it is already unlocked, and it was not a mystery that players like Rukawa and Mitsui get some fan mail sometimes, but him…? 

It's not that he feels unattractive, it's just that he never paid any attention to fans at all. It was flattering that he would receive a message like this from somebody who looks kinda obsessed, as a matter of fact; but still, there's something in this piece of paper that makes the vice-captain unexplainably curious and disturbed. At this point, before he gets a headache, Kogure decided to ask for help.

+++

Akagi read and reread the paper. "Who would have sent it to me?" Kogure hopefully asked. Akagi was his classmate as well as his friend and he was sure that the captain will know how to tackle these things.

"Why are you so keen about finding the sender anyway?" Akagi asked as he folded the white paper and gave it back to the owner. 

Kogure smiled sheepishly. "I really do not know, Akagi. I just feel a bit disturbed when I received it. Do you have any idea who it might be?" He watched as Akagi thought carefully. 

"It could be a friend of yours."

"Nani?" Kogure eyed Akagi suspiciously. "Friend? Why?"

The team captain pointed to a line in the poem. "You see here, it said that you started out as friends, dakara, it must mean that the sender knows you well, right?"

The bespectacled boy nodded in agreement. It was true, after all. But questions still hung in his head. "Who could have sent it? Why? How come it was placed secretly." Unfortunately, those questions were too hard for Akagi to answer. Shrugging, Akagi told Kogure to return to the practice.

Kogure returned to the center of the court with brows furrowed, not realizing that somebody who was in the court was intently watching.

+++

"Maa, who could it be?" Kogure murmured to himself. He was spent out, after helping Yasuda and the others clean the court that he lay sprawled on the bench while catching his breath. Even throughout the practice, his mind was full of questions regarding the anonymous letter. Why it was bugging him so, Kogure can't explain. "Saa, maybe I am just being paranoid," he loudly declared. He placed an arm under his head and stared at the ceiling, letting his brown eyes wander throughout the room. 

Suddenly, he paused. He stared at his locker. A little piece of paper was sticking out. Kogure, who was a very tidy person, cannot let it just stick out of his cabinet. He walked over and pulled it out.

It was another one of those notebook papers. His name was still written on it and Kogure hurriedly unfolded it. It did not have the same content, but rather, a sort of continuation of the first.

__

And even as I wander, 

I'm keeping you in sight

You're a candle in the window

On a cold dark winter's night

And I am getting closer 

That I ever thought I might.

I can't fight this feeling anymore

I've forgotten what I started fighting for.

It's time to bring this ship into the shore

And throw away the oars forever…

What is this? Kogure thought as he reread the words. It's as if, somebody is confessing love to him! A bit shakily, he folded it again and placed it in his pocket along with the other now. Could it be…that Kogure Kiminobu has a stalker?

Still, the vice-captain couldn't help but smile. The writer's words seemed so comforting and kind that he can't help but blush. He sat back on the bench and arranged his muddled thoughts as he smiled, while a silent watcher from the half-opened door gleefully observed Kogure's reaction.

+++

"Anou, Mitsui-san!" Kogure hurriedly caught up with the shooting guard. "Anou, may I ask for a little request?" They were the last persons who left the court, and Kogure knew he could sometimes depend on Mitsui at times like this.

Mitsui looked back at the smaller boy. "Is Akagi overworking you again?" he suspiciously asked. 

"Maa, iie. I just wanted to ask you if you know this handwriting." Kogure presented one of the pieces of paper to Mitsui. "I was hoping you know who wrote this, since you tend to observe things as such."

Mitsui raised an eyebrow and read the words once. Slowly, he looked at the vice-captain. "Somebody's stalking you?"

Kogure was quite taken aback, but he gave a half-smile and nodded. "Well, sort of. I have been getting two of those letters since the other day…and…"

The shooting guard doesn't seem to be listening. "Whew…this guy's totally in love with you!" 

"Aree? What do you mean?"

Mitsui shoved the paper back into Kogure's hands. "I could tell, this…poem or whatever you call it, is like a confession of emotions…for you." 

"Nani?! Who could it be? Could it be one of my classmates?"

"I really do not have any idea, Kogure." Mitsui patted the vice-captain's back. "I suggest you just wait and sleep on it for a while. You look so tense." He waved a good-bye and headed out of the school.

Kogure could not believe his ears. "Honto?"

+++

Kogure was in a state of disturbance. It had been three days and no letters like the ones he received had come, and no one in his class seemed to know who his silent stalker was. He was sure he had seen this handwriting somewhere, but cannot quite place his finger on it. That is why, he decided to take one drastic action: to ask the younger people.

"Megane-kun! What's the fuss? Do you know the tensai's schedule is very tight?"

Kogure bit his lip. "Gomen, Sakuragi-kun. Demo, I just wanted to ask you if you know whose handwriting this is." He showed Sakuragi the letter.

The red-haired freshmen read, but didn't seem to understand the letter since his eyes did not show any sign of surprise at all. "It looks as if a chicken ran through it," he flatly observed.

"So, you know who wrote this?"

Sakuragi placed a hand on his chin. "I don't know…it kinda looks familiar…more like Rukawa's handwriting."

"Ru…Rukawa-kun??"

+++

Rukawa Kaede was dozing under the sun at the Shohoku rooftop. Kogure slowly approached and sat down beside him. Rukawa, noticing Kogure's shadow, opened one eye. 

"Anou ne, Rukawa-kun?"

"….? Nani, sempai?"

Kogure pulled out the paper from his pocket. "Do you know whose this is?" he shakily asked. 

"…" 

"Rukawa?"

"I don't know. Why should I care?"

Kogure heaved a sigh of relief. It certainly cannot be Rukawa! "Demo, do you know who wrote this, then?" Rukawa glanced briefly at the paper without reading it and shook his head.

The vice-captain was nonplussed. "But you haven't read it yet."

"I do not know, sempai. Maybe you should ask somebody else who always stays in late at the locker room if they saw somebody place that in our locker." Rukawa turned around and slept anew. 

Kogure understandingly nodded and went away, knowing that he cannot keep the rookie awake for long. "But," he muttered. "How did you know this was placed in my locker?"

+++

Kogure was waiting for Yasuda and the others to finish cleaning up. This morning, he had found another note. He was excited to see if he has a note in his locker that he looked it up early in the morning. He was not disappointed. The same notebook paper, the same strokes and the same meaningful poem, although composed of different words.

__

My life has been such a whirlwind since I saw you

You've been running around in circles in my mind

And it always seems that I am following you

Because you take me to places that alone I'd never find.

Because I can't fight this feeling anymore

I've forgotten what I started fighting for

And if I have to crawl upon the floor

Come crashing through the door…

Kogure frowned. The poem doesn't seem to be complete. Sighing, he folded it and placed it in his pants pocket, hoping to be able to ask somebody for help.

And now, he was waiting for Yasuda, the only person who comes out late because of cleaning up. Surely, he knows something. A while ago he asked Miyagi, but the point guard just shrugged and said the letters were silly. Yasuda seems to be the last straw. 

"Kogure-sempai, you should really be getting home now?" Shiozaki said.

Kogure smiled. "Hai." He approached Yasuda. "Anou…"

Yasuda seemed startled with Kogure's word. "Se…Sempai…you're still here?!"

"Aa…I wanna ask for your help."

"Help?"

Kogure showed him the paper and asked if Yasuda knows anything about this. Yasuda instantly paled and moved backward. "No, I certainly did not know anything about it…no…" Yasuda quickly ran out of the room, leaving Kogure in stupor.

"Could it be…Yasuda-kun??"

A figure in the darkness outside the court clenched his fists. "Maybe it's time to make the real move."

+++

Maybe asking for help was not really helpful, for it left Kogure with even more mysteries. Maybe it was Yasuda, but why? Why of all people will Yasuda write to him…like that?? Gasping exasperatedly, he gave up the search. _Maybe Mitsui was right, I shouldn't take it too seriously. Miyagi also said this was a joke. Maybe one of the guys played a prank and would like to see if I will bite it._ Defeated, he went home. Maybe he wouldn't see who the stalker was…he just needed a bit of thinking on his own.

He sat in front of his desk and tapped the wood lightly with his fingers. Who could it be. Not Akagi, of course, since it was not Akagi's attitude to do something like that. Not Rukawa, since he doesn't seem to care for those mysteries at all, although he seemed to be hiding something. Not Sakuragi because Haruko was still and forever will be invading his mind. Not Miyagi or Mitsui…although Kogure wished it was Mitsui.

They had been friends, yet not close enough. Kogure had admired him ever since he began playing basketball. He was in morose as the former JH MVP hurt himself and was suspended from playing. He was forgiving when Mitsui tried to appease everyone and show that he can be depended on…yet Mitsui doesn't seem to mind. To Kogure, he was somebody that holds the special key to the vice-captain's feelings…to Mitsui, Kogure is just one of those caring friends. 

Kogure sighed. If only he could make Mitsui write these letters, it will be joy. As much as he hated to admit it, illusions of Mitsui and him…together…invades his mind periodically, causing sleepless nights and daydreams…but it cannot be so…

The brown-eyed boy opened his top drawer. Suddenly he spied something. He was still keeping those forms the players filled out when they joined basketball, from the beginning of the school year up to now. Anzai-sensei said it was important to keep those, so as to keep track of their players. Kogure fondly scanned through the papers until one caught his eyes.

__

Wait…this handwriting looks familiar…where have I… Kogure's eyes were filled with hope. He hurriedly took the letter out of his bag and set it side by side with one of the forms. 

The handwritings were exactly alike. The A's and the E's had a certain twist to them…and there's the same element of untidiness even if the characters were neatly spaced. Kogure looked at the name, excited to see who it was.

And stared at it for a long long time, not able to believe the fact…

+++

The vice-captain's heart was beating fast. How could he not have known?! The evidences were obvious, right under his nose. He vowed to ask the person after practice. But first, he had to make a trip to their locker room. Humming slightly, he opened the door, only to find out that the room was already occupied.

"Mitsui-san?" Kogure said. Mitsui was sitting by the bench near the window, eyes never leaving the vice-captain.

"Ohayou," the shooting guard softly greeted, and Kogure could feel a blush coming. He abruptly turned away and answered Mitsui with a greeting of his own.

Mitsui eyed his back. "I was waiting for you," he informed Kogure.

"Ma? Uh…why so?" Kogure busied himself to unpacking his shoes and uniform.

"I…have to give you something." Kogure felt Mitsui stood up and hand him a piece of paper. "I..can't attend class without giving you this." 

Kogure nodded absently and opened the paper. He half-expected this, but he did not expect what he would read next. It was the last line of the poem that he had looked for.

__

…Baby, I can't fight this feeling anymore.

"It was you," Kogure managed to say. Mitsui nodded. "I should have known sooner, I mean you were the only person who told me that my stalker is a guy…" the shooting guard smiled. Kogure continued. "…and that he was in love with me…" Mitsui nodded. "…and that I shouldn't worry about it much."

Mitsui bowed his head and placed a hand inside each of his pockets. "I am sorry to make you look foolish like this…I just…I just cannot tell you…" He looked up and met hopeful, yet understanding brown eyes. "I really meant it…I can't fight what I feel anymore…That I have to tell you."

Kogure tried not to smile but failed. "Were you afraid of what I will say?" 

"Aa. I do not know...whether…" He was cut short when Kogure hugged him fiercely. 

"Thank you," Kogure said. "For telling me." He moved away. "I am not angry…no .of course not…just surprised, especially with what the others said."

Mitsui let out a laugh, his blue eyes crinkling. "Before you came in at the time I sent you the fist letter, they all caught me. I told them not to say a single word or they'll all suffer painful deaths so they kept you off-track and puzzled. However, Yasuda was scared of vexing you that he ran off. I realized, I couldn't keep it this way and I have to tell you." He held Kogure hands. "I am so happy you are not mad."

"Of course not. After all, I have been waiting for you to do that for some time." Leaving Mitsui puzzled, he embraced him once more, with a smile. 

"Know what, Kiminobu?" Kogure blushed at the address.

"Nani?"

"I'm glad I can't fight this feeling."

"Hisashi…"

^OWARI^


End file.
